Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Pure Simple Modesty

Well, I hope you are ready for the 5th, and probably the most bold, post about modesty on AWL. Modesty is such an important core issue, however, I feel that even more posts on the subject would not be too many!
First, allow me to link up all my modesty posts thus far (in order that I wrote them) for those of y'all who have not read them. You may want to read them in order ;-)

Determining What is Truly Modest, My Modesty Journey, Modesty - An Issue of the Heart, &  A Mother's Advice

Now, I would like to give you our modesty standards, my family's & mine ~ (just to clarify ;-)
[I actually helped make the list & the General Rules of Thumb.]
Modesty Standards
keep away from the ways of harlots”
(for Males & Females – unless noted)

Tops:
~ No tight shirts should not be able to tell chest size (remember it WILL shrink)
~ No FORM FITTING solid colored shirts - they need designs to keep male eyes from focusing on chest area – Females
~ No button-ups w/o an undershirt
~ Must have sleeves no shorter than between the arm pit and elbow (no cap sleeves)
~ Nothing sheer or see thru in any way (including arms)
~ Top must not show any skin (back or belly) with arms raised as high as possible
~ No “V”, Wide, or Scoop necks (unless high or wearing shirt underneath)
~ No neckline lower than 3 fingers below the jugular notch
~ A minimum of 3 layers (undergarments are 1) – Females
~ Undershirts should be snug/tight (so bending over it does not gap away from the body)
~ No “bling” clothing (shiny/glittery things) – Females
~ Nothing torn, faded, ripped (trashy looking)
~ Shirt length should be to your fingertips when arms are by your side (if wearing pants) – Females
~ Do not remove shirt or change shirts or be shirtless except privacy of bathroom - Males

Bottoms:
~ No tight clothing - very loose fitting (remember it WILL shrink)
~ Skirt length mid-calf or longer (none of knee showing when standing or sitting) – Females
~ No slits on skirts – Females
~ NO pants, jeans, capri's, or shortsFemales
~ 2, 4, or 6 panel skirts but not full (makes you look fat) – Females
~ Mostly denim (as it goes with everything and is more sturdy)
~ Shorts must come below knees – Males
~ No “bling” clothing (shiny/glittery things)
~ Nothing torn, faded, ripped (trashy looking)
~ Leggins under all skirts & dresses Females

 Hair & Face:
~ No make-up – Females
~ No fancy hair (except special occasions) – Females
~ Hair should be pulled back from ear to ear (including bangs growing out) – Females
~ No “bling” hair accessories (shiny/glittery things) – Females

Accessories:
~ No “bling” shoes or accessories (shiny/glittery things) – Females
~ No over powering jewelry or amount of jewelery – Females
~ No shoe heels taller than 1.5” – Females

General Rules of Thumb:
Tops - Up to the Collar Bone / Sleeves - Down to the Elbow (or at least half-way to elbow) / Bottoms - Below the Knees

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Yep, these are our modesty standards.
(FYI - I have dedicated a whole page in my tabs to modesty & it includes our modesty standards)


   Does this list seem too hard to follow? Yes?...... Really? I don't think so. I tend to think that one big reason our country, or our world for that matter, is in such a mess is because most people have no Biblical-ly & Torah-ly sound set standards to live by!

   The "believers" dress, talk, and act just like the rest of the world. Friends of the world are enemies of Yaweh - and I didn't say that, HaShem's word did. [1 John 2:15-17] If "believers" would dress, talk, and act different from the world - pure, modest, respectful, sincere, holy, etc. then perhaps this world would take notice. 

    Sadly though, most "believers" either don't care or just outright do not want to do things 'the hard way' or Yaweh's Way. Most "believers" do not have standards by which they live, especially in the area of modesty. Christian girls wear the exact same things loose girls do, and they even feel good themselves and about what they are wearing! Do they not realize that their clothing can make others stumble? Do they not see that they are being a snare for others?

   Believers need to set the example in righteousness, holiness, purity, and modesty for this corrupt world to see, but, sadly, bad company will corrupt good morals way before good company will reform bad morals. 

Anyway, now to what Yaweh has shown me about modesty last month. 

   Modesty is definitely a heart issue, and I hope all of you reading this realize that. If your heart is not in the right place with Yaweh, your life & standards will not be either. I want to please Yaweh with my life SO MUCH, follow Him wholeheartedly, and seek His will daily! I have prayed hard that Yaweh would direct my steps and purge anything out of my life that should not be there, and to further refine any areas in my life that He wants to. So, in that, I believe that HaShem has been readying me for something big - like what happened on our vacation.

   I felt HaShem speak to me more than ever before during Pesach, a time when I searched myself for leaven - sin - to be rid of it Be'Ezrat HaShem - with the help of HaShem.


   In the months leading up to Pesach, I had been feeling more and more against wearing pants, and I became more and more self conscious when I wore them, even my loose fitting sweat pants. I had already committed to not wearing pants in public (except when camping at this point), but now I can see that Yaweh was working with me on something much more than this.


   My younger teenage brother and I conversed about modesty, I asked his opinion, and he said that pants are men's clothing here in America (in this day and age), and that most pants were immodest on women - and so he believed women should not wear them. I couldn't argue with him, of course, and it gave me some food for thought - because I actually agreed with him. Younger siblings do sometimes have great insights - if we older siblings are not too proud to accept it from them ;-)


   As the months went by, I found myself looking at the women, girls, and young ladies around me wearing pants wherever we went, thinking to myself how they could feel modest and pure wearing what they did, even if the pants were more loose than skinny jeans. I wondered if it would be possible, or practical, to wear skirts 24/7/365.


      I definitely felt weird in pants, and I really didn't like that feeling. Yaweh was definitely working on me during this time. After camping for almost 2 weeks in skirts only, I realized that it could be done, and that I felt completely modest in skirts only, and most importantly, that Yaweh was calling me to never again wear pants.


   Being free of pants is wonderful! It is such an interesting feeling, a feeling of freedom, purity, modesty, peace. It is literally awesome. If you let Him, follow Him, Yaweh can change your life SO much!


   As a side note, I also felt Him telling me to scrutinize more closely the shirts I buy and even the  shirts I own now, as even slightly tight fitting shirts are off-limits. I know HaShem is calling me to a higher standard than some, and I am so grateful that He is guiding my steps. More knowledge more responsibility. If I know in my heart that Yaweh is leading me to do something, I'd be a fool not to follow Him.



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    I have also come to see make-up as a modesty issue. This might be difficult to explain, so please bear with me :-).......So, make-up is just a cover-up, even if you say you only use make-up to enhance your appearance, that will not, cannot, negate the fact that no matter how little you use, make-up will change your appearance - at least somewhat. And what's more, LOTS of make-up will put forth a "false front", so to speak, for others to see - not the "real" you.

   Yaweh made each girl, young lady, and woman special in their own way, and no amount of make-up can really, truly change how HaShem made each of us. It can only temporarily cover up what you dislike about yourself.


   I cringe when I hear girls say that they only use make-up to "enhance" their appearances, or when they offer advice like, "oh, make-up is alright only if you use it just to enhance, and not change, your appearance". What they do not realize is what I stated earlier, that any amount of make-up will change at least something about your appearance. That pink lip stick isn't truly the color of your lips, is it? Your face doesn't really look the same with that creamy base that you smear over your face as without it, does it? Are you sure that bit of mascara on your lashes doesn't darken them, even just a little? 


   See my point? We must be SO cautious about how we choose to present ourselves as stewards of the Lord's Kingdom, as His dear children and lights of the world! Am I wearing this pink lip shimmer to get attention? Did I really layer it on for this purpose? < It's all a heart issue.

   Why do I say it can be very immodest? I believe it is immodest to wear something that puts forth a "fake" made-up version of oneself. To put forth a "fake" you is also know as defrauding.

   It is so sad how this wicked world in which we live has so convinced many girls into believing the lie that they don't look as good as they should/could with make-up. This just makes me indignant! We don't NEED cosmetics to make us look good. True beauty comes from WITHIN - from the righteousness and holiness of Christ in us!


   I realize that what I have put forth may sound judgmental, so please, hear me out --- In Matthew, Yeshua says "Judge not, lest you be judged." And, while this statement is taken completely out of context by many, as far as I am concerned, Yaweh doesn't want me to judge others just because they choose to wear pants and make-up. I do not judge those of you who choose to wear these things, truly, I do not. These issues are not salvational either - for me, it's just an issue of how close do I want to be to HaShem.


   The bottom line for me is that I want to live wholeheartedly for Yaweh, to live a simple, modest, pure life before my Lord - not one of following the world and choosing to look just like those in it. I try to follow my Master's wishes as best as I can, so that I can be well-pleasing to Him.

Thanks for reading! Blessings! 

4 comments:

  1. Huh! The one about no solid colored tops is interesting. I never thought about it that way - though i do have friends who are the opposite, though i think more just for simplicity reasons. My modesty standards are not quite as high as yours, but I think I would be considered fairly strict in this day and age. I also respect the fact that you HAVE a list of standards as it helps with accountability. I do as well.

    I am just browsing blogs and came across yours. I myself don't have one, but I wouldn't mind one. ; )

    Lucy <><

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    1. Hey there Lucy! Thanks for the complementary comment ;-). Our modesty standards are probably considered high in this day and age, but they are in pursuit of holiness. One thing I will add is that because of my age, I am allowed to wear light & medium coloured lip simmers and lots of different nail polish colours. Oh, and the no solid coloured shirts thing was never fully enforced, so now we do wear solid coloured shirts - but they must not be skin tight. It's very helpful to have a standard indeed! And that goes for many areas of our lives.... Having a blog is lovely! One day, this neglected blog of mine will again be active --- when my time is more free.

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    2. Hi,
      Your welcome. : ) I have had a few friends who, when talking about modesty, say, "I admire your diligence in modesty; I'm not half that diligent but I know should do better. : )" I always challenge them, if you know you should be doing things differently and in a God-honoring way, why do you just *smiley face* and change nothing? I do have one friend that has done something about it and it has been so encouraging to discuss and walk through things with her.
      I am newly 17 - but I still feel 15 or 16 - but I have no desire to wear any sort of makeup or nail polish and never have. I also am realizing that I need to be able to give a definition of "skin tight" or "skimpy" when talking about my standards; because so many girls say that and yet there are some that I look at and think, that definitely IS skimpy! I haven't done any testing, but I'm thinking I might say that I should be able to have my arms in, by my side, without needing to stretch the shirt. Does that make sense?
      Yes....."when my time is more free..." : ) We feel rushed for time in the teenage years, and yet our parents always tell us that the older we get, the less time we will have, these are the summer years. Oh dear..... : )

      Thanking God that Spring is just around the corner!
      Lucy

      p.s. Do you live in Canada? I notice your different spelling of "colour". : ) I understand if you don't want to give that information out, though.

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  2. It's great that you challenge your friends in the area of modesty, and that one has paid some heed to you. It's great that you have no desire to wear makeup. It was a real struggle for me to give it up about a year and a half ago... well, except what I didn't have to give up - which was my Burts Bees Lip Shimmers and my nail polish...And I very much agree that tightening up one's standards leaves much less room for error. I think your explanation is quite suitable. It make sense.

    Indeed. My teenage years have felt so short and rushed. Twenty will be upon me in just three short months. It's amazing. Poetically, I suppose I can say that I'm going from my spring years to my summer years now. I feel I worried and wasted far too much of my teenage years, and plan not to do the same with my twenties.

    I too, am very glad spring is nearly here for good!

    Oh, haha, no. I live in Texas. I simply love British spellings. Well, I love many British things.

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